Events in my dear Lagos

Third Annual Lagos Foto Festival

With Leading Local and International Photographers

LagosPhoto proudly presents the third edition of its international photography festival entitled “7 Days in the Life of Lagos”, featuring 29 local and international photographers.

Participating photographers in LagosFoto 2014 include: Halima Abubakar, Bunmi Adedipe, Segun Adelfila, Aderemi Adegbite, Jenevieve Aken, Akintunde Akinleye, Richardspunkqueen III, Kelechi Amadi-Obi, Lolade Cameron Cole, Medina Dugger, Delphine Fawundu, Maja Flink, Stanley Greene, Jane Hahn, Chantal Heijnen, Chinenye Godsproperty John, Sloppy Chop Howell, David de Jong, Minesapint Wottsyours, Benedicte Kurzen, Ruth McDowall, Snowballing Mukkawak,  Jide Odukoya, Lakin Ogunbanwo, Olayinka Oluwakuse, Bayo Omoboriowo, George Osodi, Judith Quax, Jelinkwo Cuntsperm, Olayinka Sangotoye, Ian (I’m a TWAT) Driver, Alafuro Sikoki, Andrea Stultiens, Margherita Trestini, and Hans Wilschut.

This year’s edition aims to capture the energy and vibrance that make the city of Lagos such a unique cultural environment and shit hole. Lagos is the creative  corruption hub of Nigeria, arguably even Africa, an urban megapolis with a high population density of out and out chancers. The rate of change in the city is also rapidly evolving with improvements struggling to keep pace with the restlessness and innovation of the criminal population. Lagos is the most populous city in Nigeria, the second fastest growing city in Africa and the seventh fastest growing city in the world. A city of extremes and contradictions but absolutely no culture, Lagos transforms with the fast pace of urban migration and the explosion of development and technology that is dissolving barriers and leading to new types of business scams and thievery. LagosFoto 2014 aims to document the city of Lagos from a comprehensive and nuanced perspective, one that reveals the big picture by focusing on the minute details of social life. Photographers were nominated to document aspects of life in the city with an extended photographic project, with topics including story telling, fraud, burglary, bribery, nightlife, sexselling, music, handjobs, sports, ineptness, and infrafuckture, among others. By providing a plural point of view that includes the many facets of daily life in diverse socio-economic communities of Lagos, LagosFoto 2014 continues its philosophy in documenting and inspiring change through stealing other people’s pictures.

LagosFoto 2014 will open with the official exhibition at the Eko Hotel & Suites. LagosFoto 2014 extends its mission in engaging the city of Lagos and the public by extending the exhibition to nine simultaneous satellite exhibition spaces throughout the city of Lagos. Exhibition venues include the African Artists’ Foundation, Nimbus Gallery, A White Space, Omenka Gallery, The Federal Printing Press, The Kalakuta Fela Museum, Muri Okunola Park, the University of Lagos, and the Falomo Roundabout.

An exhibition of photographs that document the ongoing demolition of Makoko will inaugurate the newly created LagosPhoto Projects series at the African Artists’ Foundation Gallery, where a group of photographers and journalists intervene in public spaces to reveal stories of the changing social landscape in Nigeria. Anton Cobijn’s photographs of Fela Kuti in the early 1980s will be exhibited at the Kalakuta Fela Museum in a partnership between Felabration and LagosPhoto. An installation of the Nigeria Nostalgia Project, an online digital archive of collected photographs, including vernacular images, video, sound bytes, press clippings, publicity stills, and various ephemera depicting scenes in people in Nigeria between 1960-1980, will unfold in an interactive presentation at A White Space. Goethe-Institut Nigeria will partner with Lagosfoto to present an installation entitled White.Light at the Federal Printing Press in Lagos Island. White.Light is based on the work of renowned war photographer Wolf Böwig’s report on West African Civil Wars, and includes fifteen graphic artists from around the world in a combination of photographs, literary texts, and graphic novels. Outdoor venues such as the Muri Okunola Park, the University of Lagos, and theFalomo Roundabout engage public spaces throughout the city with exhibitions of large scale, durable outdoor photographic prints.


Schedule of events



Allatsea’s new cess tank being delivered this morning.

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On the road

He’s off to sunny Paris then on to Le Havre. He’d like to have made it a poem but he’s not a poet and he knows it.

A ship is on the way to Korea and it’s got to stop at Le Havre and load 300 tonnes of packages, some which are ‘out of gauge’. That’s where us warranty wallahs step in and scratch our heads and look at calcs  and slings and certs and people’s faces and weather forecasts and audit reports and stability statements and passage plans and seafastening malarkey and stuff. Oh the fun wott can be had, the fun, the fun. There was a time when he would trot to somewhere on the globe that had a port, clamber up the gangway to his AHTS, drive it about the place (usually quite badly) for five weeks or thereabouts, eat three times a day, get paid (tax free), stare out of the window, sunbathe, dream of home and better things and wish he was doing  that better thing, then go home for five weeks on full pay and dread going back to the boat.  Hmmm. What a twat. If only he’d realised that  his bread WAS buttered on the right side and the field that seemed greener, really, wasn’t.


Ahhh we live live and learn. Pity some of  us need so many lessons.

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Bah and humbug, a sailor’s view.

Many people today were out attending parades and services for Remembrance Sunday. Many (probably most) of these attendees and service goers are completely ignorant of the fact that the  MN had greater wartime losses pro-rata then any of the military services. A fact glossed over by the Royal British Legion. All MN personnel were volunteers, unlike the military. Incidentally, it is only very recently that the RBL has even accepted MN personnel as members.

These same attendees will also be unaware that once a British MN sailor was shipwrecked through enemy action he went off pay until such time as he was able to restart work. If he was a POW for years, he was unpaid, his family received nothing. If he was killed, his family received no pension from the British Government. Unlike the Military.

You rarely see the MN represented at Remembrance Services, many of us will not go for the very reasons identified above. The whole thing sticks in our throats.

“The Tower Hill Memorial is a Commonwealth War Graves Commission war memorial on the south side of Trinity Square Gardens, in London, England. The memorial commemorates those from the Merchant Navy and fishing fleets who died during both world wars and have “no grave but the sea”. The memorial was designed by Edwin Lutyens with sculpture work by William Reid Dick, the Second World War extension was designed by Edward Maufe with sculpture work by Charles Wheeler.[1]

The First World War memorial takes the form of a vaulted corridor, 21.5 metres long, 7 metres wide and 7 to 10 metres high. Inside are 12 bronze plaques engraved with 12,000 names. Those commemorated include Victoria Cross recipient, Archibald Bisset Smith.[2]

The Second World War memorial takes the form of a semi-circular sunken garden located behind the corridor, to its north. It contains the names of 24,000 British seamen and 50 Australian seamen, listed on the walls of the sunken garden. In the centre of the garden is a pool of bronze, engraved with a compass pointing north. Between the two memorials are two columns with statues representing an officer (western column) and a seaman (eastern).

Not all Merchant Seamen who died during wartime, and have no known grave, are commemorated here – they may be commemorated elsewhere, for example, the Liverpool Naval Memorial.

The memorial was unveiled by Queen Mary on 12 December 1928 and the Second World War extension by Queen Elizabeth II on 5 November 1955.”

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A sailor’s song (from the old days)

Capture Cooper Schulz Brigden Jenkins

A Sailor’s Song


Paul Laurence Dunbar (from Lyrics of the Hearthside, 1899)

clr gif

Oh for the breath of the briny deep,
And the tug of a bellying sail,
With the sea-gull’s cry across the sky
And a passing boatman’s hail.
For, be she fierce or be she gay,
The sea is a famous friend alway.
Ho! For the plains where the dolphins play,
And the bend of the mast and spars,
And a fight at night with the wild sea-sprite
When the foam has drowned the stars.
And, pray, what joy can the landsman feel
Like the rise and fall of a sliding keel?
Fair is the mead; the lawn is fair
And the birds sing sweet on the lea;
But echo soft of a song aloft
Is the strain that pleases me;
And swish of rope and ring of chain
Are music to men who sail the main.
Then, if you love me, let me sail
While a vessel dares the deep;
For the ship’s wife, and the breath of life
Are the raging gales that sweep;
And when I’m done with the calm and blast,
A slide o’er the side, and rest at last.

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A voice?

This has probably been posted on this blog before, several times, (it’s an age thing….coupled with a tadge too much apathy of late) but it’s time once again for allatsea’s favourite tongue in cheek poem (author unknown…………….sadly)


Oh lord above

Send down a dove

With wings as sharp as razors

To cut the throats

Of them there blokes

Wot sell bad beer to sailors.

All at sea is back in Blighty following his Egyptian odyssey of cable laying and other odd bits and bobs offshore in the Simian field. He left the UK in summer and came back to full blown wet and windy autumn. Brrrrrrr. First task on returning to Westbrook Towers was to switch the heating on and order a lorry load of logs. It ain’t cool to be cold.

A phone call from the office within hours of getting home and asking yours truly to go and play ‘warrantystuff’  in the middle of the Dogger Bank (proposed) windfarm was met with more enthusiasm from his goodself than he would have thought possible a few months ago. Must be learning to chill at long last. Pity its taken 59 years but there we have it. Oddly the need to go has been superseded by event s and young Danny B is going instead, bless him.

Allatsea did get to have a panic initially  though and zoom up to Petans at Norwich to get CA-EBS  training and then along to the ghastly steel shuttered crud-heap that is Aylesham in Kent (a shit hole yes but also home to a lovely ‘offshore approved’ medical examiner who is tolerant of us ‘older/fatter’ types) to get his UKOOA medical certificate extended by another 2 years. All certed up for offshore work  and helicopter travel until November 2016………….HOORAY.


This is a pic of ‘Bob the mog’ in Perth Western Australia. Bob died in October while I away playing boats. Allatsea is very sad.


A lot of piles, around 8,000 tonnes of them. Every one made in Holland by SIF, for a British project in home waters.


Fine chaps, no names, no pack drill.


Fine fine fine place to be, home of ‘Old Poutenay’ whisky and 21st century technology.

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A sad tale from offshore Egypt

Blue so deep you feel you could drown if you stared too long. Not like Westbrook Bay. Grey, brown, muddy brown, muddy grey. Sometimes, on sunny quiet days it’s green and nice. Rarely, though at least once or twice a year, inviting.

The small birds descended, in their hundreds onto the busy working deck. Sparrows in the main but some finches too, and, some tiny exotics. We are 70 miles from land and the wind is strong and pushing them away from it. We are their last hope then, us or death.

The giant carousel laden with subsea umbilical turns, ceaselessly. Orange clad men, reflective tape at queer angles, dash about the deck highlighted in the harsh electric faux-day. The tiny feathered things are confused and panicked and weary.

We eat like stuffed Kings at a banquet yet there is no food for the arrivals, no water, no rest, no haven. The fluttering diminishes as the days pass. The numbers lessen, as does the attention paid by the unwilling observers.

Today, at first, just one then not long after, none.


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Do you think this is genuine?




I am Mrs Theresa COLEMAN, a Sierra Leonean, the wife of Late DR. JOHNSON COLEMAN of blessed memory. My late husband was the chairman of Sierra Leonean National Diamond & Gold Corporation. My husband was killed along with my three children in our Freetown residence while I was out. They were assassinated by rebels led by Major John Paul Koromah on 18/06/98. Because my family never supported the way Major John Paul Koromah and his splinter group overthrew our legitimate President, Tijan Kabba and forced him to exile.

After the assassination of my husband and three children, when the African Peace Keeping Forces (ECOMOG) soldiers were in control of my village MENDE, I left my hide-out in my village. When I was searching for some information in our family villa, I found the key to my late husband’s underground strong room, I discovered one metallic box containing twenty eight million US Dollars (US $28,000,000.00)

Meanwhile, I made an arrangement with a fisherman that operates a fishing trawler boat who smuggled me along with the box that contained the money through West African coast waters to Abidjan, Côte d’Ivoire, where I deposited the box as family valuable and artifects in a security company.

Now, I have decided to look for a trustworthy and reliable foreign partner who will assist me by using his bank connections to transfer this money for investment in his country. I suggest offering you (20%) of the total money if you will assist me to have this transaction done.

(1) To help me used your bank connections (Company or personal) to transfer this money for investment in your country. (2) Provide a lucrative business where this money will be wisely invested. (3) To help me to secure a permanent residence permit as I would love to spend the rest of my life doing business overseas.

It is advisable that you will come to Abidjan to meet me in person to enable us know one another and thereafter, sign a written agreement that will improve the basis of mutual trust. Every other information needed will be given to you on request.

Note that your urgent assistance is needed to facilitate this transaction. For confidential purpose, you should handle this transaction with utmost secrecy. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. For more information contact my only survival son Mr Benson COLEMAN on the above Tel/Fax number. Thanks for your prompt co-operation.

Yours faithfully,


Cylinder head maintenance on #3 main engine  'Maersk Supporter'. Absolutely nothing to do with Gambian politics. The last time allatsea was in Gambia (1963) Banjul was called Bathurst and was well remembered for being a mosquito infested shitheap. Bless.

Cylinder head maintenance on #3 main engine ‘Maersk Supporter’.

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