‘Apply a risk ranking’. Try saying that in a hurry. I know I wouldn’t, not in polite company anyway.


HAZID meetings are held to identify, quantify and mitigate the risks to people equipment and assets that exist within a given task or operation. That task could be as mundane as painting the ceiling or as complex as anything you can imagine. The one I’m involved with this week concerns towing a 320m long FPSO from Korea to Nigeria and commissioning its myriad of equipment while on route. The whole project is a bit of a beast, expensive (>£2 billion) and time constrained. Throw in the added interest of rounding the Cape of Good Hope in winter and you’ve got a bit of a bum clencher on your hands.


Oil majors spend HUGE amounts of money on risk assessment these days (huge but finite) and they want a return on that dosh. The return is a statement that nothing (of note) will go wrong. Guess who gets to sign that statement. I’ll get my coat.


These things are important but they are very tedious and this one is no exception. I shouldn’t however moan too much because if I wasn’t here, haziding, I’d be doing the MOG installation instead. That would have involved days at Esbjerg for barge arrival, loadout and sea-fastening, then a dash to Rotterdam to check tugs suitability, then back to Esbjerg etc etc. I think I got the best part of the deal so I here and now, thank the God of sailors for looking after his lovely son.


Yes yes, I know it’s sexist to engender God but while you’re here put the kettle on will you love.


It’s almost finished here anyway, two more days of this and back to Blighty. Hooray. It seems to me that being away from home and memsahib gets more difficult with age rather than easier and that flies in the face of accepted practice. A bit like the maxim stating that confidence increases with experience. Not in my case it doesn’t, I get more nervous with exposure. Is it my Irish genes or premature senility?


During my current absence from Margate, the historic ‘scenic railway’, built in the 1920s, has burned down. Co-incidentally it was on the same day that the Olympic torch was being paraded through London. Maybe, because of the hassles, they diverted it through Dreamland and were a bit careless as they went by the railway. Seems those Chinese chaps are guilty of more than a bit of oppression in Tibet then.


Before closing tonight, a question. Mark Steel, the smugly pompous left wing (not very good) comedian, does anyone else out there wonder, ‘What’s the point?


About allatsea

Sixty year old master-mariner. Absolutely gorgeous. Well wedged.....when compared to a Nairobi street urchin. Sorted, in that I haven't been in court recently. Hopelessly optimistic, terminally disappointed. Good with cats and other fluffy things. No musical talent. Generous to a fault provided it's someone else's round. Political centreist with far right and left viewpoints. A green activist from the hydrocarbon position with nuclear leanings. Averse to avarice but always happy to receive lottery wins, gifts, windfalls, legacies, prizes and wet sloppy kisses.
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