Trials and tribulations

Crikey it’s busy on’t news and owt. The ‘Northern’ delivery is courtesy of memsahib Allatsea, a Bolton gal through and through.

Football pundits being tintacked for making derogatory comments about splitarses on the touchline, the World Service being clipped back a tadge because of something called ‘net based alternatives’, union leaders (or oxygen thieves as they’re called in thinking circles) prattling on about the NHS not being able to employ so many peeps (silly me I thought the prime function of the NHS was to provide healthcare, not to employ as many people as possible) and Labour (hahahahahaha) politicos blaming the incumbent government for the fiscal nightmare we find ourselves in. The world’s gone mad…….again.

Luckily here at Westbrook Towers life seems a lot more calm and reasonable. For now anyway. Even a visit to 143 revealed a sober drunky nuncky for once, wonders will never cease. We did get one surprise though. One of the neighbours is having an extension built and the white van driving, intellectually challenged neanderthals doing the building work had dumped around 5 cubic metres of hardcore on our garage fronting and the path and into the roadway. Bless. I asked the dunderheads who had the biggest tattoos (obviously the foreman I thought) to get it shifted but he did not acquiesce to my request with the enthusiasm I required. This resulted in me charging him (any bets on if I’ll get paid or not?) £500 an hour for the rent of the land and the removal of his Van keys (foolishly left in the ignition) until such time as all is well again.
The neighbour didn’t seem to admire my public spiritness either. Perhaps a call to Travis Perkins and a lorry-load of gravel dumped in his front garden may help to persuade him as to his lack of community emancipation and, general twattishness. Mind you, he is originally from ‘up the smoke’ so what do you expect?? He’d probably bag-up, the gravel, sell it on and make a handsome profit. Ugh!!

About allatsea

Sixty year old master-mariner. Absolutely gorgeous. Well wedged.....when compared to a Nairobi street urchin. Sorted, in that I haven't been in court recently. Hopelessly optimistic, terminally disappointed. Good with cats and other fluffy things. No musical talent. Generous to a fault provided it's someone else's round. Political centreist with far right and left viewpoints. A green activist from the hydrocarbon position with nuclear leanings. Averse to avarice but always happy to receive lottery wins, gifts, windfalls, legacies, prizes and wet sloppy kisses.
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