The iridologist looked intently into 76 year old mummy allatsea’s eyes. The young white coated starer could hardly have failed to notice the mild wince wince of discomfort as she stooped to take her seat. A long and melodramatic pause followed, punctuated only by the breathing of the silent assembled.
‘Excellent, your organs are all very strong but you’ll need a herbal treatment for the back pain’ pronounced the white coat with all the gravitas that only the severely pompous blagger can muster.
Mummy allatsea was delighted with the outcome and gushed at me in the car on the way home home about ‘How good the white coat’ was and how wonderful all the quackery of the alternative scene was. She didn’t use the word quackery of course, that’s my choice, she used the words ‘natural wonder’. Hmmm.
That said, the wad of cash handed over to be told the blindingly obvious was a damned sight smaller than that needed to pacify my dentist and his many white coated tool wielding hangers on, so maybe just maybe it wasn’t such a bad deal after all. At least she was happy, I never am coming out of a waiting room.