Cliché I know but life really is a funny old thing. Six months ago allatsea’s outlook on his little lot and what the future was likely to look like was a whole order of magnitude different to what appears to be so today. Completely at odds almost. And what’s changed to bring about this confusion and upheaval? He’s got no real idea at all. It just all seems to be dark out there. No tomorrow, no next week. No Christmas, no future as such. Most odd. Most unhelpful and not very nice. He just wants to go home and to be there whenever he wants, for as long as he wants, with no worry about being called away, because no-one will call him away to anywhere that he doesn’t want to go to. With no obligation to be anywhere he doesn’t want to go to. Aaah bliss. But wishful wish washy nonsense.
It’s two things.
Waiting for the results of some medical tests. He’s at an age where the pragmatic amongst out there have to be grown up enough to realise that at that time of life, you’ve got to be prepared for bad news rather than good. The tests were carried out 16 days ago. The results still aren’t in. It’s horrid, all the waiting.
The other thing.
The job. Money OK. Time off, OK. Colleagues, lovely, in general. The location, local, 10 minutes drive away from home, Heaven and no mistake. The job itself—-well it’s just not it should have been. Not what was really expected, deep down, deep deep down, a mistake to go there. Urggh.
So, a situation where he could be vulnerable healthwise, could be severely compromised in what he can do and earn down the road…..and…….whose dearest wish (just about) is to quit the job he’s doing and do something a lot less numbing. But of course that could well be cattle trucked by the need to be fit and healthy.
The word that comes to mind, I’m told, is BUGGER