Caught between a rock and a lack of a toilet

Now what does a chap do when he’s constipated and afraid he’ll burst if relief isn’t found soon?

He takes some laxative tablets of course.

How many?

The instructions on the bottle say 2 at most for an adult. Ok then, being a fat so and so, he’ll double that and because of past experience and the knowledge that these things aren’t really that strong, he’ll double up again ……….of course.

OK, that’ll be eight little brown bombs then………….intomouth…….slurpsumwater…..swallow!! Wait.

Wait

Wait

Hmmmmmm, better take some more, nowt happening so far. Four more, just for luck.

Wait………………………………

Go to office site, multilayer PPE on, almost Michelin Man.

Gurgle gurgle, pump pump, wobble wobble , botty BURP….BANG!!!!

It really wasn’t the most convenient relief he’d ever had. Kitchen towel handy?  Anyone?

About allatsea

Sixty year old master-mariner. Absolutely gorgeous. Well wedged.....when compared to a Nairobi street urchin. Sorted, in that I haven't been in court recently. Hopelessly optimistic, terminally disappointed. Good with cats and other fluffy things. No musical talent. Generous to a fault provided it's someone else's round. Political centreist with far right and left viewpoints. A green activist from the hydrocarbon position with nuclear leanings. Averse to avarice but always happy to receive lottery wins, gifts, windfalls, legacies, prizes and wet sloppy kisses.
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