Gran knew her stuff

From the front line, Atlantic Frontier

It weighs in the order of 8500 tonnes and it’s turning up on location a tadge earlier than expected or indeed, needed. So the reasoning behind this scheduling must be that they want to hang their washing out on this steel latticed behemoth? Surely there’s no need when there’s a perfectly good 24 hours a day laundry service available onboard our hugemutha*ucka SSCV? Aah, perhaps they’re going the organic route on such matters?


The mammal watchers have arrived on scene too, a sure sign that they hope to start banging away with the world’s largest pile driving hammer (MHU 3500) sooner rather than later. I hope so. The nerves and sense of ease are never really relaxed until such time as the piles have been driven and fully grouted. Get the buggers in is what I say.

The ones for the subsea storage vessel are 96 inches in diameter, 68 metres long and weigh quite a lot, around 400 tonnes. Crikey. Big yes but not yet on the scale of some the mono-piles used in the windfarm industry these days. Some of those darlings weigh in at around 800 tonnes, have wall thicknesses of 80mm and diameters of 8.5 metres. As my dear old granny said when I told her about them, ‘Fucking Jeessus H Christ’ she blurted, shocked to the core. Aye Gran, indeed!! They’re big muthas.

So all is well out here at the moment other than the weather hasn’t read the script and doesn’t realize, it seems, that it’s August. Things should be gentle and stable. They’re not. Gnashing of teeth can be heard for miles as frustration sets in and timescales get squeezed. Frankly I blame it all on Concord. Hurtling about the skies for 30 years polluting our lovely upper atmosphere (cheerfully forgetting the zillions of other belching jets and myriad nuclear explosions from the air test heydays) with its four smelly old turbojet engines. ‘Ghastly, pointless thing’, said Gran, ‘give me a 500 Knot, high bypass turbo fanned wide-body any day’.

She knew her stuff did Gran.

About allatsea

Sixty year old master-mariner. Absolutely gorgeous. Well wedged.....when compared to a Nairobi street urchin. Sorted, in that I haven't been in court recently. Hopelessly optimistic, terminally disappointed. Good with cats and other fluffy things. No musical talent. Generous to a fault provided it's someone else's round. Political centreist with far right and left viewpoints. A green activist from the hydrocarbon position with nuclear leanings. Averse to avarice but always happy to receive lottery wins, gifts, windfalls, legacies, prizes and wet sloppy kisses.
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