Ring ring

Monday, Sainsbury’s, phone rings, tis Lundunn HQ, am I available for the 2016 North Sea/Atlantic installation programme? Well yes sir I am that, just got to make sure recent events don’t contravene the UKOOA medical guidelines for fitness to work. Fingers crossed on that one.

Fannit is grey and dark and wet and blustery today, the kids are still off school for the winter holidays and the shops are full of the little perishers, roll on mid-week when, all being well, they’ll all get back into the classrooms and leave the streets quiet for us grumpy old men. Spare a thought for the poor sods known as ‘teachers’ though, bless ‘em.

Now for a re-visit to the allatsea school of thoughts on that curious phenomena known as religion.

Religion is like a penis

It’s OK to have one

It’s OK to be proud of it


Do not pull it out in public

Do not push it on children

Do not write laws with it

Do not think with it.

And for all those out there in peril on the sea, here’s a handy guide from Viz to help you know which way to turn ………………………. and why.

“Starboard’s left? No, that’s not right.

Right can’t be port but left just might.

Port, said right, is left you see,

And starboard-port-is wrong to me.”

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About allatsea

Sixty year old master-mariner. Absolutely gorgeous. Well wedged.....when compared to a Nairobi street urchin. Sorted, in that I haven't been in court recently. Hopelessly optimistic, terminally disappointed. Good with cats and other fluffy things. No musical talent. Generous to a fault provided it's someone else's round. Political centreist with far right and left viewpoints. A green activist from the hydrocarbon position with nuclear leanings. Averse to avarice but always happy to receive lottery wins, gifts, windfalls, legacies, prizes and wet sloppy kisses.
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