Nostalgia, neuralgia, Archers

For those of you out there who aren’t familiar with the long running radio soap, The Archers, it’s a gentle tale of mainly middle class English rural land owning types and their daily dealings with the vagaries of the EU Common Agricultural Policy and the dastardly doings of lesser folks.

A shock then, when seeking the weekly summary on the fan site ‘’, to be greeted with the following opening paragraph.

“We start the week with Jazzer at a loose end. I can’t help thinking there must have been a misunderstanding when Jim suggested they go out looking for birds together. I wonder if it was the prospect of a nice pair of tits, a shag, and the first swallow of spring.”

Cripes, it was never like that in my day.

A round up of things allatsea over the last couple of weeks.

All went well on the the goodship Thialf; jacket, piles and the little topside intermediate piece went together swimmingly well. The weather added around 11 days to the operation but that is to be expected in that part of the world in April. The weather god rarely reads the script.

Travelled down sarf from Aberdeen on the Flybe service. Hmm, OK yes, but slow slow slow, the best part of 2 hours on a Dash 8. Home a few days and a day trip to Rotterdam to kick the tyres on a tug. A nice tug. Not overly big at 48m overall and a 100 odd tons of bollard pull, but nice and well run and a pleasure to visit. German managers, master and mate. Good lads. Thanks Bremen Fighter. Ooh, and I learned that walking from Haven 272, Lekshaven to Lloydkarde takes about 30 minutes, as long as you don’t get lost. Thanks to ‘Here Maps’ and the proficient folks at the road signing department, I didn’t.

Sunday morning and two dental implants and ……a sinus uplift at Birchington. The surgeon came down from London in his very fine looking red Tesla sports car. They are, I believe, expensive. That might explain the fee of £4450 he charged me for 30 minutes work. My wallet’s still damaged and the left side of my face resembles a football. I’m all for folks earning a living with their carefully nurtured skills, but that hourly rate, frankly, is taking the piss. The teeth that will be  put on said implants are a snip at a mere £3500.  Groan.

Anyway, I’d factored in a good two weeks of face recovery time so wasn’t overly bothered by the hideous characteristics the boat-race had assumed. Not bothered until a  nearly overlooked email on the works BlackBerry (wtf still uses them, apart from our lot?) wanted me to confirm my travel arrangements to Lerwick this coming weekend!!  The sodding goodship Thialf beckons again it seems. Onwards and upwards then, this time west of Shetland and some very critical (weather wise)  lifts to do. If the Atlantic swell doesn’t cooperate, it could be a long long trip. Hopefully the swelling will have gone down (ooh vicar) by then.

Two Mums

About allatsea

Sixty year old master-mariner. Absolutely gorgeous. Well wedged.....when compared to a Nairobi street urchin. Sorted, in that I haven't been in court recently. Hopelessly optimistic, terminally disappointed. Good with cats and other fluffy things. No musical talent. Generous to a fault provided it's someone else's round. Political centreist with far right and left viewpoints. A green activist from the hydrocarbon position with nuclear leanings. Averse to avarice but always happy to receive lottery wins, gifts, windfalls, legacies, prizes and wet sloppy kisses.
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